Desperate Diners Attack Trapped Fat Lady With Plastic Forks
A FAT WOMAN who got stuck in a restaurant doorway was prodded with forks wielded by her angry fellow diners.
Cops say the woman "squealed and suffered horribly" as a wild-eyed mob jabbed her and hurled cruel insults, including calling her names like "Miss Piggy" and "tub of lard" and taunting her with the childhood rhyme, "Fatty, fatty, two by four, can't get through the bathroom door . . ."
"This unfortunate woman was poked and stabbed at least 200 times and maybe even more," says a Chicago police spokesman, adding that he is both embarrassed and saddened by the insensitivity of his fellow Chicagoans.
"The forks were plastic," he says, "but they still managed to inflict a lot of damage. Doctors later told me the victim looked like a pincushion."
"Basically these people were upset that they couldn't use the rest rooms. The woman was trapped in a doorway that leads to both the men's and ladies' toilets."
The 647-pound woman -- whose name Weekly World News editors are withholding to spare her any further embarrassment -- "was in great distress before she was freed," notes the cop, who says the ugly incident unfolded in a popular barbecue restaurant known, ironically, for its Southern-style hospitality.
"The victim was squealing and crying in pain, not to mention being humiliated, when police and firefighters arrived to help her. They estimate that as many as 40 men and women had taken turns poking her with their forks."
Firefighters cut and pried the by-then exhausted woman free with saws, crowbars and the Jaws of Life, a special tool usually reserved for ripping open car doors to free passengers trapped in wreckage.
She was taken to a hospital where she was treated for puncture wounds, shock and dehydration. Getting through the restaurant's main door was no problem.
In the words of the police spokesman, "It was a double door."
The restaurant's manager says the doorway leading to the rest rooms was "normal size," but in a nod to political correctness after the fact, commented that the woman "had an alternative body image and unfortunately got wedged as she tried to go through."
Cops say her assailants will almost certainly face assault and battery charges after investigators pore over videotape taken from the restaurant's security cameras to help them identify everyone who participated in the bizarre attack.
"When I realized I was stuck I got scared and starting yelling, 'Help! Help me!' " the woman said in a brief interview attended by her attorney. "A server tried to push me through but she couldn't."
"Everything went downhill from there. A man started yelling at me to get out of the way so he could go to the bathroom. Then I heard a woman cursing at me and calling me names like 'fat a--' and 'Miss Piggy.' It was awful."
"And then I felt the forks. They poked me over and over and over and over again. I remember sobbing and yelling at them, 'Why are you doing this to me? Why? Why?'"
An eyewitness who claims to have tried to calm the angry customers confirms the woman's story.
"Thank goodness I had my cell phone. If I hadn't called for help, the fat lady might have been poked and prodded to death."
The victim, 41, says she's planning to sue the restaurant and its patrons for actual and punitive damages in excess of $20,000.
<a href='http://entertainment.tv.yahoo.com/entne ... 20003.html' target='_blank'>Original Article</a>
Beat The Fat Lady
-
DoggyDelicious
- Official Forum Dog
- Posts: 1415
- Joined: 23-10-03, 5:10 pm
-
DoggyDelicious
- Official Forum Dog
- Posts: 1415
- Joined: 23-10-03, 5:10 pm
Or Christopher Robbin hisself might of. I remember they just hung tea towels on Pooh's extremities. They could have used the fat lady as a coat rack. Of course this would require some velcro. BTW, I think velcro is the greatest invention of modern man, right next to post-its.
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
-
.:VerTiGo:.
- I HAVE no life
- Posts: 4729
- Joined: 22-10-03, 3:25 pm
