Tech Support... (I feel sorry for these people)

G.O.D · Post by **G.O.D** » 07-07-04, 2:54 pm

Calls From Hell

They're bound to terrorize all tech support personnel sooner or later -- the call from hell. These are calls from people without a clue in their heads. They call tech support lines and refuse to get off until the tech support staff members on the other end have lost all remnants of their sanity. The callers invariably exhibit both incompetence and belligerence, either of which is fully capable of driving even the strongest to the height of frustration or the brink of frenzied hysteria. The content of these calls is a conglomeration of computer stupidities of every variety, glued together with so thick a haze of idiocy, it will cause instant and complete gray hair to anyone remotely associated. Be forewarned.

* Customer: "I have just received your software, but I have these plastic things, what are they?"
* Tech Support: "Could you describe them please?"
* Customer: "They are black plastic, thin, and square."
* Tech Support: "Anything else?"
* Customer: "They have a metal bit on one edge."
* Tech Support: "Disks?"
* Customer: "Well, I don't know, do I? I just brought your package. What do I do with them?"

I see a horrible call ahead, and the customer is quite irate already.

* Tech Support: "Put the disks in the drive."
* Customer: "What's a drive?"
* Tech Support: "The slot in your machine that looks just the right size for the disk."
* Customer: "Which machine?"
* Tech Support: "Do you have a hard drive?"
* Customer: "I have two boxes. One has a picture on it."
* Tech Support: "Put the first disk in, metal side first."
* Customer: "Ok. It's gone in."
* Tech Support: "Go to the 'start' button, then run, then type 'setup'."
* Customer: "My computer isn't on. How do I turn it on?"
* Tech Support: "Push the button by the drive to eject the disk, and press the button that says 'power' on the machine without the pictures on it."
* Customer: "Ok. Done."
* Tech Support: "Now put in the disk, go to start, run, and type 'setup'."
* Customer: "Oh, it's all working now. Thanks, but your software isn't very easy to use, is it?"

* Tech Support: "Do you have the icon on your desktop?"
* Customer: "No. It's a thingy with buttons on the shelf. Um, a modem."
* Tech Support: "Yes. I need you to look at the software you are using though. What do you click on?"
* Customer: "Oh. Ok."
* Tech Support: "What's the name of the icon you use to click on?"
* Customer: "The mouse?"

Gateway color codes their connectors as well as their ports. Yet:

* Customer: "I'm looking at the back of the system, and I don't know where to plug in the mouse. There are two holes that are the same size as the mouse."
* Tech Support: "Ok, what color is the tip of the mouse plug?"
* Customer: "Orange."
* Tech Support: "Do you see the orange 'hole' on the back of the computer?"
* Customer: "Yes."
* Tech Support: "That is where the mouse plugs into."
* Customer: "Oh. How about the keyboard?"
* Tech Support: "What color is the plug on the keyboard?"
* Customer: "Purple."
* Tech Support: "And do you see the purple 'hole' on the back of the computer?"
* Customer: "Yes."
* Tech Support: "That is where the keyboard plugs in. The tips are color coded."
* Customer: "I see. How about the speakers?"

I had this conversation recently with a lady who swore she had been using computers since forever.

* Tech Support: "All right. Now click 'OK'."
* Customer: "Click 'OK'?"
* Tech Support: "Yes, click 'OK'."
* Customer: "Click 'OK'?"
* Tech Support: "That's right. Click 'OK'."
* Customer: "So I click 'OK', right?"
* Tech Support: "Right. Click 'OK'."

Pause.

* Customer: "I clicked 'Cancel'."
* Tech Support: "YOU CLICKED 'CANCEL'???"
* Customer: "That's what I was supposed to do, right?"
* Tech Support: "No, you were supposed to click 'OK'."
* Customer: "I thought you said to click 'Cancel'."
* Tech Support: "NO. I said to click 'OK'."
* Customer: "Oh."
* Tech Support: "Now we have to start over."
* Customer: "Why?"
* Tech Support: "Because you clicked 'Cancel'."
* Customer: "Wasn't I supposed to click 'Cancel'?"
* Tech Support: "No. Forget that. Let's start from the top."
* Customer: "Ok."

I spent the next fifteen minutes re-constructing the carefully crafted setup for this lady's unique computer.

* Tech Support: "All right. Now, are you ready to click 'OK'?"
* Customer: "Yes."
* Tech Support: "Great. Now click 'OK'."

Pause.

* Customer: "I clicked 'Cancel'."

And people wonder why my mouse pad has a target on it labeled "BANG HEAD HERE."
----------------------------
<a href='http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/cs_calls.shtml' target='_blank'>http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/cs_calls.shtml</a> (more here)

When I was reading this..I kept thinking about Jasmine..cause she use to work in Customer Service for Amazon...lol. I remember her telling me stories about these stupid clueless people. So let's raise a toast to the customer service and tech support people through getting thru these stupid calls!

AJ · Post by AJ » 09-07-04, 12:50 am

:rolol:

Some peoples children....

Night_Angel · Post by **Night_Angel** » 10-07-04, 6:08 pm

i used to feel like beating thos people with their keyboards. people that stupid should not be alowed to own and opperate computers

.:VerTiGo:. · Post by **.:VerTiGo:.** » 10-07-04, 6:20 pm

everyone has to learn.... thats what "Tech Support" is there for...

G.O.D · Post by **G.O.D** » 10-07-04, 6:22 pm

really..if you can't match colors up... -_-

Night_Angel · Post by **Night_Angel** » 10-07-04, 6:22 pm

um no. it's just rediculous when you have to go through the same process 10 times because they do not do what you say that they are supposed to do....like click "ok" instead of "cancel"

AJ · Post by AJ » 10-07-04, 6:27 pm

I know what you mean. These people come into the library to use the internet. But yet they have never used a fricken computer before and they expect us to teach them or do it all for them!

Merideth · Post by **Merideth** » 10-07-04, 6:35 pm

ok, just take a deep breath & remember a time when YOU didn't know how to do something & needed help. would you have wanted someone being a jerk?

Night_Angel · Post by **Night_Angel** » 10-07-04, 6:36 pm

i worked for amazon.com customer service and i swear that we got the biggest idiots....

me:thank you for calling amazon.com, can i get your order number or e-mail address please?

customer: yes, i ordered something for next day delivery and it hasn't come yet.

me: when did you order it?

customer: yesterday.

me:ok, it takes 24 hours to fill the order and then it gets sent off after that. did you pay by credit card or choose the option of check or money order?

customer: money order.

me: it takes 2-4 weeks to get the money order and process it for payment. we do not fill the order and send it off untill we receive payment and approve the payment method. when did you send off the money order?

customer: yesterday....

me:ok, you should receive your items within 2-4 weeks.

customer: BUT I ORDERED OVERNIGHT DELIVERY!

me: we do not send off items untill we receive and approve payment.....

and so on and so forth untill they ask to speak with a supervisor and i tell them "one is not currently available right now and they are only going to be able to give you the same answers that i do. i do appologise for the inconvenience. is there anything else that i can help you with today?"

AJ · Post by AJ » 10-07-04, 6:37 pm

No, I don't act like a jerk when Im helping them. I would get fired.. But I wish I could just slap them silly!

.:VerTiGo:. · Post by **.:VerTiGo:.** » 10-07-04, 7:10 pm

i worked for amazon.com customer service and i swear that we got the biggest idiots....

me:thank you for calling amazon.com, can i get your order number or e-mail address please?

customer: yes, i ordered something for next day delivery and it hasn't come yet.

me: when did you order it?

customer: yesterday.

me:ok, it takes 24 hours to fill the order and then it gets sent off after that. did you pay by credit card or choose the option of check or money order?

customer: money order.

me: it takes 2-4 weeks to get the money order and process it for payment. we do not fill the order and send it off untill we receive payment and approve the payment method. when did you send off the money order?

customer: yesterday....

me:ok, you should receive your items within 2-4 weeks.

customer: BUT I ORDERED OVERNIGHT DELIVERY!

me: we do not send off items untill we receive and approve payment.....

and so on and so forth untill they ask to speak with a supervisor and i tell them "one is not currently available right now and they are only going to be able to give you the same answers that i do. i do appologise for the inconvenience. is there anything else that i can help you with today?"

Why give the option of overnight delivery when paying with a money order? Thats stupid. Overnight delivery is AT LEAST $25.00 extra.. So, basically, if you opt for overnight and are paying with M.O... you're getting fucked. THATS nice.

Night_Angel · Post by **Night_Angel** » 10-07-04, 7:13 pm

they give the option because if the person needs the item withing 2-4 weeks but no later, they can do that instead of waiting an extra week for delivery and also because of the fact that 1 day delivery orders get filled faster than 2 day or standard, super saver shipping orders get delivered last, it's put in priority of time.

G.O.D · Post by **G.O.D** » 10-07-04, 7:52 pm

maybe because your suppose to pay with a Credit card?

Night_Angel · Post by **Night_Angel** » 10-07-04, 7:55 pm

yeah, but people without CCs can pay by money order

Merideth · Post by **Merideth** » 10-07-04, 11:26 pm

people without credit cards should use their debit cards.

or (gasp) get off their fat butts & GO TO THE STORE!