This is a post from another forum I belong to. I laughed so hard I nearly wet my pants.
HJ, and other Canadian members please, please don't be offended by this. It's a joke only and was posted in relation to and directed @ a similar post by p~a about the US of A.
Hopefully everyone can see the humor in this as I did.
I'm also including a link to the forum and post this was in rebuttal to: <a href='http://www.sharemania.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=103' target='_blank'>http://www.sharemania.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=103</a>
btw: I don't know what the nationality of the poster, Wingee, is.
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I'm not shure if this has been on here b4... well here it is if it hasent <a href='http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cf ... canada.us/' target='_blank'>http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cf ... ada.us/</a>
Also Invade France <a href='http://www.invadefrance.us/' target='_blank'>http://www.invadefrance.us/</a>
Sample:THE COMPLETE MILITARY HISTORY OF FRANCE
Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.
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Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when NOT led by a Frenchman."
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Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars -- when fighting Italians.
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Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots.
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Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
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War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flower pots as chapeaux.
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The Dutch War - Tied.
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War of the Augsburg League / King William's War / French and Indian War -Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.
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War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved ever since.
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American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."
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French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.
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The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.
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The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.
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World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.
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World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.
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War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu.
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Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
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War Against Greenpeace - Lost. 1985, the Greenpeace ship Rainbow Warrior prepares to sail for Moruroa Atoll for a major campaign against French nuclear testing. Agents of the DGSE [secret service] bomb and sink the ship in Auckland Harbor. 1 tree-hugger sans tree drowns. Six weeks later agents Prieur and Mafart plead guilty to charges of manslaughter and willful damage. They get sentences of 10 years and 7 years. French Prime Minister Fabius admits to state terrorism on TV.
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War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador but fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.
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The Internet - France surrenders to netizens of InvadeFrance.US. Netizens drink French wine and eat frog legs in celebration.
I want you to invade Canada
No offence taken but here's my rebuttal
History of Canadian wars.
1812 to 1814 The war of 1812. The colony of British North America kicks the USA ass.
WW1, Canada enters the war before the USA and helps defeat the axis.....not trying to say Canada did it alone, but with the help of many nations.
WW2, Canada again enters the war before the USA (more than 2 full years) and helps defeat the new axis.....and again with the help of many other nations.
History of Canadian wars.
1812 to 1814 The war of 1812. The colony of British North America kicks the USA ass.
WW1, Canada enters the war before the USA and helps defeat the axis.....not trying to say Canada did it alone, but with the help of many nations.
WW2, Canada again enters the war before the USA (more than 2 full years) and helps defeat the new axis.....and again with the help of many other nations.
Protector of the Holy Grail.