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midnight
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Post by midnight » 14-04-05, 3:31 am

.:VerTiGo:. wrote:Can be spotted mostly in muddy areas in large, dirty, and often mufflerless 4 wheel drive trucks. Generally, they are accompanied by skinny bottle-blonde women with tight acid wash jeans and possibly a couple of simularly clad children, often sporting the same mullitude of "businees in the front, party in the back" hairstyles. You can bet that there are at least 6 Budweiser cans in the floor board OR the bed of the truck, and in rare but delightful occasions, you may even see them pulling their home on a trailer hitch behind their beloved truck.[shadow=darkred][/shadow]


Image

Though the multitude of the species do indeed travel in familial packs, there is the occasional outcast loner that often utilizes a beast commonly known as a Harleyicus Davidsonius. This is a sight to behold, indeed.

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Post by .:VerTiGo:. » 14-04-05, 12:49 pm

Indeed, midtnfriends4u, indeed. Those types can be spotted in or near Daytona Beach, Florida in May during "Bike Week". Droves of them flock to the popular beach, and no matter the weather can be found wearing only leather : vests, chaps, hats, and boots. These types also prefer skinny blonde big-haired, bad-ass women who not only know how to change the oil on HER own Harley, but can be considered sexy as she flashes her 57 year-old saggy teets for the cameras. Nice breed to witness from afar.

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Post by midnight » 14-04-05, 1:17 pm

.:VerTiGo:. wrote:Indeed, midtnfriends4u, indeed. Those types can be spotted in or near Daytona Beach, Florida in May during "Bike Week". Droves of them flock to the popular beach, and no matter the weather can be found wearing only leather : vests, chaps, hats, and boots. These types also prefer skinny blonde big-haired, bad-ass women who not only know how to change the oil on HER own Harley, but can be considered sexy as she flashes her 57 year-old saggy teets for the cameras. Nice breed to witness from afar.


This migration to Daytona Beach is somewhat akin to the migration of great flocks of birds heading south for the winter. You rarely see a lone straggler on his beast on the highways but rather several traveling side by side on the road, their glorious mulletage flowing gracefully out from under their ritualistic helmets. Neither rain, snow, sleet or hail will deter them from their destination--they simply gather under the underpasses for shelter until the weather clears. Their determination and gunghoness is certainly to be admired.

Once at their meeting ground, their mating rituals take place. The males consume great quantities of various substances to enhance their libido, and the females fluff and preen their plumage in order to attract the males. This yearly occurance may be the only time they get a chance to mate outside their own pack, thus explaining the great occurances of inbreeding within their own familial packs back on their home turf.

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Post by .:VerTiGo:. » 14-04-05, 9:40 pm

Image

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Post by midnight » 14-04-05, 10:51 pm

Image

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Post by Jean Pool » 15-04-05, 2:55 pm

have you ever spoken to one of these?
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Post by midnight » 15-04-05, 6:43 pm

Oh yes, most of the species are quite amiccable, however one must approach with caution. It is generally advised to approach with your hand out slightly, palm down, and fingers curled under to let then sniff you. If you are accepted into their domain, don't be surprised if you are frequently referred to endearingly as 'Bubba'--this means they like you. Image

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Post by Jean Pool » 15-04-05, 7:24 pm

The mating ritual was quite interesting, can you describe any other rituals, such as passage in to manhood, or how they handle property issues or enforcement of behavior codes. Also, do they reproduce or increase through induction only?
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Post by midnight » 15-04-05, 8:47 pm

Jean Pool wrote:The mating ritual was quite interesting, can you describe any other rituals, such as passage in to manhood, or how they handle property issues or enforcement of behavior codes. Also, do they reproduce or increase through induction only?


The passage into manhood is a simple one--if they can beat their Paw's best time in changing out the lugnuts on a flat to their mobile home, they are then considered a man. If they are not fortunate enough to have their own mobile home, they go to their "rich uncle's" mobile home and change out his.

Property issues are just as simple, however much more violent. You will find that many who have claimed "squatter's rights" at the local mud hole have signs that bear the spraypainted letters (usually in red) "NO TRESHPASHIN'--Y'ALL 'L BE SHOT!", "PRUHTECTID BY SMITH & WESSON" or some such wording.

Their behavioral codes are still being studied, but scientists have managed to gleen a little insight into them. They have noticed that the males who own the beast known as the Harleyicus Davidsonius hold their motorcycles more near and dear to their hearts than their own mates. You can mess with their females all you like, but you touch their 'beast of burden', you'll die a merciless and painfull death. The females have a different take on things--they are of the notion that EVERYTHING belongs to them, and will sell them behind their male mate's back just to be able to buy that next bottle of hair dye/bleach and Stiff Stuff hairspray at the local Dollar General.

The reproduction process does of course include 'induction'--though not as many have been inducted lately as there were in the past. This again points back to the commoninity of inbreeding. Their height of population was in the 1980's, however there are a few here and there that revert back to the mulletistic tendencies from time to time. Though you still see mulletites en mass in some rural areas, they are still a dying breed and may soon be added to the endangered list.

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Post by midnight » 15-04-05, 9:00 pm

Allow me to post a pic of a Mulletite taken by a scientist who daringly touched a Harleycus Davidsonius. The rage in the Mulletite's face makes the skin crawl...

Image


Please Please--whatever you do, do NOT touch a Harleycus Davidsonius, you may draw back a bloody stump.

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Jean Pool
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Post by Jean Pool » 16-04-05, 4:35 am

my skin is crawlin right now. Scarey!! I wonder if he had his cup of meth today.
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Post by rayster » 17-04-05, 1:29 am

darn thats ugly!!!!!!
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Post by Lonely Black Heart » 19-04-05, 1:19 am

omg thats creepy *shiver* :shock:
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rayster
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Post by rayster » 19-04-05, 12:56 pm

scary part is it looks like someone i know here...arggg
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Post by rayster » 19-04-05, 12:58 pm

rayster wrote:scary part is it looks like someone i know here...arggg


In my hometown that is.....sorry for DP...but i just wanted to clear that up...sonce you cant edit posts here...*sorry*,..didnt think of it before :oops:
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